Moonlit Night

Gaara stood on the edge of the canyon, staring at the large full-moon in the night sky. He waited, hoping the one person he wished to speak with would come. If she didn't, he would merely continue the routine of standing on the cliff every night until she decided to find out what was up.

Neko silently walked up beside him. She was not suspectiong anything, Gaara was known for staring at random shit for long periods of time so this was no different. She thought maybe he had come out for some fresh air but did not disturb him with her words, instead staying silent.

"It's nice.." He said after noticing Neko's arrival, continuing to stare out into the night sky. "The night.. do you think so, too?"

She smiled up at the night sky. "Many a times in the last few years have I been traveling at this time, meow. But never in fear like before. Everything was peaceful, yet painful altogether. Looking up at the sky, seeing the vast beauty and happiness that could be somewhere else in the world made me love the night." She quietly sighed, blinking at the moon which looked particulairly large and close from such a high up range. It was full. "The moon was supposed to be Usa-chan and the Sun was supposed to be Gaara-kun."

"I was supposed to be the sun?" He asked, side glancing at her. Her skin seemed to glow in the moonlight, or maybe it was just him seeing things. Nonetheless, the glow was beautiful, causing him to pry his gaze away with force, just so he wouldn't stare.

"I.. love the silence when I need to think. It is exactly the reason I came up here, though, I am glad you came. Because, my thought were directed to you.. and thinking wont help me much longer."

"Hm?" Her eyes shifted to him quickly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb your thinking process, meow." Then her whole head looked at him and she smiled. "Even if it was about me."

"Your not disturbing me, not at all. Ive been thinking of this for far too long, and tonight needs to be the night where I.. as they say, 'step up to the mic'."

He gave a sigh, not knowing how or where to start. "Please, forgive me if anything I say isn't understandable.."

Neko was a bit confused, but she turned her whole body to him. "Wh-What is it?"

"Neko.." He looked at her, not about to pry his eyes away again. "You are my every thought. My every breath. My every step. Without you, I would be nothing.. or, in some form of nothingness. I can't live without you.. your like the fuel that keeps me going. You are the moon in my night, the sun in my day. The stars in the sky, the sand beneath my feet. You are my everything.."

He looked back to the moon, staring. "That is only a microscopic sized explanation of how I feel. In shorter terms, I am in love with the most wonderful thing in the world, the beauty standing beside me."

He gave a small smile. "I am unsure of what you feel, though. Would you.. like to enlighten me..? Please, do not spare my feelings. I want to know what you really feel."

Her eyes opened wider and then grew sad. "Do you see what I'm doing? By staying here, by becoming friends with all of you, I have made your life revolve around me. By doing this, I've forced you to want to stay with me forever..." It took her a while before she could shove out the next sentance and in that time, she turned back to the moon. "Which I cannot do.."

A tear rolled down the side of the cheek that was not facing Gaara. "Everything... Everything I did was a mistake... Mistake after mistake until finnally, I came upon my biggest mistake... I should of never eaten that shrimp, gone out of my room, made friends, turn into my real form outside, run away..." Her sigh was shaken, almost like she was cold, which she was not.

"Met you..."

He looked at her, his expression blank. "I see.."

So basically, she wished she never met him. He really was a monster, wasn't he? He couldn't disagree with her, though. He didn't deserve her, and this was for the best.

"I'm sorry, Neko.. I shouldn't have said anything. In fact, I shouldn't have let you have such a great impact on me. My mistake."

He shot her a smirk, then looked at his feet at the edge of the cliff. "I'm going to fix this, Neko.. I swear I'll fix it. Even if it kills me."

"No, it is not the mouse's fault for wanting the cheese. Even if the cheese is mucky and old, meow." She tried to smile, still staring at the moon. "By leaving the place I belonged, I caused your world to turn upside-down. Staying... Causing no harm... Would've been better.." Her eyes shifted to the ground and then back up to the moon.

"If the cheese is stepped on before the mouse can get to it, then it is still not the mouse's job to clean it up." This time, she actually smiled, looking at him. "But in this case, the cheese was not stepped on. The mouse got to it, only to realize the cheese was a trap, and now the mouse is dead." She turned back to the moon. "It's not the cheese's fault for being set there, but it is it's fault for drawing the mouse closer."

"The mouse would risk anything just for that cheese. We don't make decisions for nothing, Neko. It was no accident. The mouse knew there was a chance he may not get out alive. That mouse knew the danger, but he chose to take the risk. So, it's not the cheeses fault."

He kept his eyes off the edge of the cliff, staring down the vast depth.

"I need... I need an easy way out." The wind picked up and blew her hair to the side, but se didn't notice. "I can never do a very good job of anything, and whenever I try, I screw up." Pain stung her chest, remebering a Christmas a long time ago. Remembering when she first saw her parents run. Remembering when she tried to make a friend. Remembering how she somehow made another friend hate her for four years. Remembering how she let her friend die.

She shoook her head, letting the memories fly away into the wind. "I just need to know..." She turned her head, looking up at him. "What you want me to do.."

"You do what you want to do. Do, not what you feel is right, but what you can and want." He looked at her. "Sometimes what's right isn't what's good for you."

"But in this moment I'm so unsure of the difference. I want to do the right thing. I want to make everyone happy. But I don't know... I don't know..." She sighed and closed her eyes. "I don't know how..."

"You have been making me happy, Neko." He replied turning to face her completely. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have said what I said tonight."

He pulled her to him in a sudden, tight embrace. "And I wouldn't be hugging you right now if I wasn't happy with you.. you are the most important part of my life, I would give up everything if it meant being with you for the rest of it.. but sometimes things don't work out that way, right?"

"But things are supposed to work out like this.. It always happens in the books." She rested her head on his chest. "And you are not happy... Apperentally, you've never been happy, apparentally you can't remember the last time you were happy."

Her eyes half closed as she thought about that. "If all this time my efforts have to waste, I must not be good enough..."

"Can't remember..?" He thought for a second, then realized that Kani must have been telling Neko. Or maybe Neko was spying? Either way, it didn't matter. His brilliant plan for Kani wasn't so brilliant after all.

"That's not true, Neko.. I do remember. And I know I've been happy, because it's a feeling you never want to forget. I've been holding on to how it feels for a long time now, Neko.. but, it never was the same. Not until you came back."

"What are we supposed to do? Why isn't there something we can look to that tells us what path we should take?" She silently shook her head, another tear running down her cheek as she closed her eyes. "Bad things happen, and with them we have to choose all these things.. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want.."

Her eyes slowly opened. "Well, I know I want you to be happy, but that brings up more questons and choices." Her head tilted upward, looking at him. "What do you think?"

"There is something we look to, though not many are in touch with that side of them; our subconscious mind. We have all our answers, we merely need to find them in ourselves.

"I don't want you to only want me to be happy, you need to be happy, too. Otherwise, it doesn't work. It's like skipping, only you need to be skipping too for me to be happy."

"I am happy. But when I think you're not or I start thinking about why I shouldn't be here, things get blurry in my mind. Really blurry. Like walking through a fog, and then I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do. What anyone wants.

If somehow... If somehow my puzzle piece does fit... If somehow it is able to slide through all the cracks, like sand, then does that mean I'm supposed to be here...? I...belong..?"

"I believe that if your loved, your accepted, then your piece belongs. It fits perfectly." He said, "And if you don't think that's enough, then it's your decision what you do."

She smiled a tiny smile. It was hard but she made it work. "What a strange way.. People think.. You try and tell someone that you really care for them and then they go and say things like they're not worthy. But you don't understand how they could ever think that they weren't good enough for you because you feel like you're not good enough for them.Does that make sense?

"Why do we find it so impossible to think that someone could every care about us? What makes it so hard?"

He stared at the ground, thinking for a moment. "Yes.. that makes perfect sense."

He shook his head slightly, closing his eyes. "I don't know how to answer you on that.."