Visiting a certain person...

(xD how so? it's basicly who'll realize what she'd going to be doing to herself and make her stop doing it before she like. injures herself worse they she already be in injuring herself? xD)

((ooc: Lmao okay, that's a bit more confusing XD

I get the whole injuring thing, but err? @__@ I do't get anything else LOL))

(who is going to figure out later what Shika does to herself? as in she's going to make a habit of self injury. but who will she run and go and cry to. and it won't be her brother xD but seriously who'll find out about it and make her stop injuring herself? and I know exactly what it's like to be depressed and use self injury... don't ask...)

((ooc: Oh, I get it now lol

And I wont have to ask since I'm right beside you on that one))

((ooc: I'm at least outta the habbit mostly, instead of doing any real possible danger to myself i pinch myself... it sucks to be depressed enough to do that... glad i stopped, but that's really the only reason i can relate to the song... u.u))

((ooc: I thought the same thing about the song, that's why I got into it so much

What helped me for the longest time was drawing and writing poetry, though that didn't keep me off it for as long as I had hoped, not to mention the forums I go o and stuff helped too. The only thing thats keeping me from doing it, which I've actually thought of doing it so many times, is the fact that I can't find the thing I usualy hide *them* in >_> And because of that I usualy bite the back of my hand and my arms a LOT.

Though it is a really hard habit to get out of, and my elder sister doesn't understand that. It's like the time when she smashed my head off the table and I laughed, I liked it! It helps with my nerves and it keeps the depression out of my mind. Heh, I've tried for two years to get out of the damn habit, nothin' has worked so far.

Wow I've been blabbering O_O))

(( yeah. I'm lucky though even though i used to be a cutter kid, I'm no longer and it really didn't leave me with many scars, just one and if i look at it it's a reminder not to. But I know. feeling physical pain always makes the depression go away for a little bit 0_0 but sometimes when it comes back it's worse. well that was two years ago almost now. I actually had to wear a jacket like 24/7 and when i didn't i had to lie about the, I said "my cat scratched me" and they didn't question it. People can be so stupid. when I moved down south i got really picked on and that's really what started my depression. they continued to tease me this year but it didn't work as well because one, my friend threatened one of them that if they didn't leave me alone she'd beat him up. and two, I kinda learned to let it pass. But, it's weird cause people think they know you sometimes and yet you shy away from them. eh... idk... well It's so much easier to talk about these sort of things with people who understand what it's like. it relieves stress even though it's dangerous. once you get into a habit of it it's really hard to pull out of. and I actually started to write poetry alot more often . but i don't share it cause they'd be like "...Li-chan? what's wrong with you? this is too dark for you of all people to be writing" and I'd just smile probably.

now I'm blabing on... but yeah. I still technicly am hurting myself just i'm not leaving any form of telling people,... but i don't think that pinching myself/ scratching lines that aren't bleeding really count. eh... My mind is confusing and confused... and i tell the Sasuke that joined my RL friend Kimi-chan, not to sometimes... i told her not to get into it like i had been. stupid kid... though she's older then i am...))

((ooc: Wow lol I have about....15 visible scars.. ^_^;.. Though I have these new arm things that cover them, and I can't put them off as just cat scratches >_> It worked for the first one but it would never work now O_o

My mother, elder sister, and father(he was the first) all have seen them and know that I do such things, I told my sister where I was hiding my 'stash', as if to say 'Yeah, there here and can you keep them away from me?'(sounds like drugs LOL) and yet when I found the thing I had them hiding in they were still there >_> And I'm called stupid by my mother of all people, she keeps saying stuff about how I want to kill myself and all that shit.. yet I actually don't want to kill myself. And my mom told my nan about it and she told my aunt and she told all my cousins and one of my cousins ended up asking me if I did and I told her no and she said 'oh' and that is how I know -_-

But yeah, I understand what you mean about not really being able to talk to people about it ^_^;; I can only talk about it with Hitori, Connan(from the DN site), or you, and a few others..

Eh I should stop this post, it's a little long LOL))

((I know. It just gets really awkward to talk about it. and I told someone once and she told others and then i got mad and told them "i can see ghosts" I freaked them out xD A counslor from the other part of the camp asked "what are you a Shinigami?" and I laughed and said "yeah sure I'm a deathgod...ess... from bleach... yeah. and yet I'm right here ooh" but yeah. He kinda laughed. but he didn't let anyone watch anime, unlike he who had been able to watch the new episodes when they came out >< he always bragged about it so I was like... 'I've seen it all in the Manga... I wanna read the new chapters ><' xD but yeah...

hmm... I think I'm so bored I'm gonna like... i don't know 0_0; ))

((ooc: lol it does get really awkward.. but yeah xD

I am bored too.. ahh I got a game to play but my dad wont get the system back and I told him he owes me $40 more than he did and he still hasn't got it ))

(that sucks)